Internet History
In hyperreality, all things may be true at once.
This is the lost treatment of the only (and rejected) Rankin/Bass Easter Holiday Special, The Bunny Miracle.
A Message From the Near Future
“Well, hello there! May I ask what year it is, friend? Ah, if my math is correct, it is exactly that number (minus 33) years ago, that The Bunny Miracle happened…
What? You don’t know about the Bunny Miracle!?”
While Jesus had been resurrected, there still was the problem of the large rock sealing the tomb. He had lost a lot of blood, you see, and had nothing to eat or drink for days. Plus, he had been crucified, so there was severe tissue damage to his hands and feet. Son of God or not, that makes shoving a 2-ton hunk of rock impossible. It’s not like he was Jedi, and could just use the Force (video from a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away).
So God called upon a bunny that was hanging around, munching on some grass near the tomb.
God said, “I need you to move that rock, little bunny.”
The bunny said, “I cannot move such a large rock, I am but a 4-pound rodent.”
God said, “If you don’t try, I will smite you, and you will be delicious.”
The bunny then set to pushing the rock. And he pushed and pushed and pushed.
One last time, he pushed so hard the rock began to move and soon the tomb was opened! When the bunny turned to face Zombie Jesus, he realized that he had pushed so hard, he had laid a multicolored egg.
For that, God did not smite him. He gave him a job like the one he gave the Fat Man from the North: Get people to go shopping, in the name of Jesus.
