Justice for Cricket

Kristi Noem boasted about killing her dog, yet hides cuckolding her husband

The first Official Sacrifice of the Second Trump Administration has taken place. Former head of DHS, Kristi Noem, failed to follow Pam Bondi’s lead to prepare a Slam Book where she could attack Democrats rather than respond to their questions, and now she’s lost her weekly cosplay opportunities and her cuck plane.

She’s not totally gone, however. Trump is keeping her around to fuck with the Western Hemisphere, under the guise of “defending the Americas.” The promise to the rest of us is that she will no longer be the face of the greatest collective, domestic human rights abuses by the U.S. since Japanese-Americans were put into concentration camps during WWII.

And to think, it all happened because she was too subtle.

American political figures use their books to collect bribes (in the form of advances that publishers know they will not recoup—see Melania: The Movie for an updated filmic version of this) and to lay out their policy proposals for a future campaign. Noem decided to use her book to seek the Vice-Presidency; she failed to take into account Trump’s disdain for the printed word.

The book that could have made Kristi Noem VP, if only Trump comprehended metaphors.

In her autobiography, Noem recounts a time when she “had to” kill her dog, Cricket, for lacking the discipline expected in a hunting dog. As some have pointed out, Cricket was just a “kid,” barely over a year old, and should not have been expected to demonstrate the discipline and training of an adult-aged dog.

But Noem was not writing about how to train dogs, per se, but instead showing her training.

Hey, Donald! Over here! Remember how Mike Pence could not bring himself to do the “right thing” and left all those insurrectionists—and yourself—hanging, back on January 6, 2021? I would have taken him out back and shot him in the head, like the dog he is. I am prepared to do whatever is necessary, to complete the mission.

Unfortunately, Noem did not consult with me before publishing her tale. I would have told her that an experiential learner like Trump does not think metaphorically. He is a literalist, and when you told him you are a stone-cold killer, in his eyes, that became your worth.

Rather than put Noem in a position where her murderous capability would be an ongoing threat (how does a VP instantly become President?), far better to put her in a place where it will be her job to provide cover for civil rights abuses that will involve ongoing custodial deaths and the occasional homicide of an American citizen.

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Depending on the source, Noem’s dismissal was for either implicating Trump in her stupidly-expensive, self-promoting, international ad campaign with kickbacks to friends, or for her open marriage and sexcapades with “special assistant” Corey Lewandowski. In both cases, it is clearly a case of do as I say, not as I do, for the publicity-loving, money-funneling, adulterer cum child rapist.

Noem’s PR campaign was one of the first red flags for the second go-round; openly showing style-over-substance being more important than it was in the first Trump administration. I wrote on May 8, 2025:

The hair is a cover—it makes the human rights violations she engages in seem lesser offenses—the cultural passivity of the feminine is being exploited.

There is an “International” version of the Noem propaganda, but like the “Domestic” version cited above, it is in English.

These PSA’s are for English-speakers, not recent immigrants from Central or South America, or East Asia. That is why Trump is thanked in them. Undocumented immigrants (bullshit to the contrary) do not vote and are not MAGA. These radio ads are for American listeners.

The publicity campaign is almost a year old, and fits perfectly with the Trump Administration’s philosophy and goals. If the campaign is indeed the reason for Noem being shuffled out of the spotlight, it was because she implicated Trump by stating that he directed her to produce it. Senator John Kennedy, a Republican, called her out for that.

Kennedy pressed Noem on whether Trump personally approved the massive expenditure. Noem insisted he had.

Kennedy wasn’t buying it.

He told the secretary the spending put Trump “in a terribly awkward spot” and said he found it hard to believe the president would have signed off on a quarter-billion-dollar ad blitz starring his own Cabinet secretary. He also noted the ads did one thing very well: they boosted Noem’s name recognition.

After the hearing, Kennedy told reporters that Trump called him directly. Kennedy said he wouldn’t speak for the president, but offered a telling summary: “His recollection and her recollection are different.”

Trump himself later told Reuters flatly: “I never knew anything about it.” (kpel965.com)

Other sources claim that Noem’s ongoing, years-long affair with Corey Lewandowski (it began during the first Trump administration), was the straw that broke the camel’s back and condemned Kristi to a new, low-visibility position. While it is expressly against federal policy for department heads to fuck their underlings, we know full-well that DC rivals Hollywood, when it comes to getting ahead through giving head.

Noem’s responses in her second day of testimony were no better than her first, and by virtue of flying her husband in to be visible, Noem gave away that she anticipated questions about her affair.

From Trump’s 2024 trial in the E. Jean Carroll sexual assault case.

For what it was worth, Mrs. Noem’s husband showed up. Perhaps she thought members of Congress would not go there, if he was visible in the room. No such luck, though.

Congresswoman Sydney Kamlager-Dove: At any time in your tenure as Director of Homeland Security, have you had sexual relations with Corey Lewendowski?

Secretary Kristi Noem: I am shocked that we're going down and pedaling tabloid garbage positions.

Congresswoman Kamlager-Dove: It’s okay for you to be offended. You should be wanting to answer that question.

Secretary Noem: It’s garbage.

This line of questioning was the only one where Noem managed to talk over, and one of a handful she did not respond to. Clearly, she had rehearsed her non-answer. She lacks the improvisational skills Pam Bondi showed in her February testimony, and Noem’s dodge on the matter stood out.

The Bourgeois hold a system of wives and concubines in common. — Marx & Engels (1848).

Open marriages are not uncommon among federal officeholders, as is covering them from public exposure. Under the old political morality, a politician who would violate their marital vows could not be trusted. That is why the Clintons did a confessional on 60 Minutes back in 1992, when Hillary demonstrated her faithful commitment to gaining power, by dismissing Bill’s many extramarital affairs, and denying that she was doing exactly what she was doing, while she was doing it. I am not going to be Tammy Wynette, standing by my man.

Now that we have a serial sexual assailant with documented extra-marital affairs in each of his three legal betrothals, perhaps we will see an openly non-monogamous candidate emerge and win office. In retrospect, the Clinton’s open marriage became obvious: Bill openly chased tail, while Hillary was far more subtle about any of her excursions. Of course, had Hillary said We are committed to our marriage, but we don’t expect each other to be 100% faithful, back in 1992, and there never would have been a Clinton Presidency, or anything that followed it.

Acknowledging she has been in an open marriage recontextualizes Noem’s testimony. She could not admit to having sex with Lewandowski because that would provide a ground for her impeachment (which was obviously on the horizon, as Republicans were attacking her, too). It also would have made the cuckolding more obvious.

One form of consensual deviance is the cuckold, where a woman openly engages in sexual activities with people outside her marriage or partnership, in order to provide psychic pleasure to her partner. Cuckolding often takes place in person, but with the advent of streaming, it can be conducted remotely almost as well.

Could it be that Noem demanded her husband be present in the chamber, not in an attempt to insulate her from direct questions about her sex life, but instead to cuck him in front of the world?

The study of consensual deviance requires suspending normative morality, when performing data collection and analysis. The people you will be studying will deviate, most will be secretive about it, outside of intimate circles. Public behaviors that appear to comport with social norms may actually be a subtle extension of consensual deviance.

Regardless, we will know in a matter of weeks or months, whether Mr. Noem has any personal objection to Mrs. Noem fucking Mr. Lewandowski on a government jet, and elsewhere. My bet is, he is not only okay with it, he finds the idea rather kinky.

But like with Pam Bondi (who should have been chased away like Jeff Sessions), Trump is showing he has committed to this Cabinet.

While Noem has always been incompetent (her testimony merely highlighted it), she has demonstrated enough loyalty to not be left hanging. Conversely, she also knows enough that she cannot be trusted to keep her mouth shut, so she is being kept around. Bondi set the bar with her mismanagement of the Epstein files coverup, last summer.

Kristi Noem wanted to be Vice-President, but she got corralled into destroying Due Process and civil rights instead, and now she’s been back-burnered, to make it appear DHS today is not the agency it was, two days ago. It still is.